I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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