Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
