If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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