TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
