Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
