clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck appropriateness.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
