i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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