you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
