Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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