he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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