butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
