Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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