i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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