I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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