Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
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I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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