Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
