at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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