and i looked up. we had an audience...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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