Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
