yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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