I don't think brook has ever known best
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
