I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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