sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
