I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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