# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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