i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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