She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize