I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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