Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
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What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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