Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
