Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
