Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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