That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
