y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
