My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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