i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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