i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
