flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
In other news, I just burned my penis
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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