do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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