What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
