Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
