I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
