i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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