At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
