I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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