Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
