how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
