chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
its not stalking. its research.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
