I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
