butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
