oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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