if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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