I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
