champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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