What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
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My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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