i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
