shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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