I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
