he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
