I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize