I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
