I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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