i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
