No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
